Reassurance versus self-righteousness

As social creatures, we each live with and around humans with varied beautiful personality traits. Each unique to their own. Its almost as if we have (for a myriad of reasons), created our own personal version of reality and are living a fantasy life within the confines of this perceived reality.

No good reality versus bad reality, simple different and unique to each person.

Often we find our version of reality will overlap with that of another and we find it easy to accept this person, even enjoy being around them. Then of course we find the many humans with whom our version of reality has no overlapping features and its these very people we may experience friction with, or have difficult and heavy emotional challenges in being around them and collaborating with them.

Again, no good/bad; right/wrong.

In order to collaborate with and simply live with these frictional/non-overlapping individuals we may employ several sub-conscious or unconscious techniques. We may feel self-righteous in our view of a situation or behavior and try to change/teach/preach/force the other to see things from our perspective; the presumed right perspective. They will resist or play along, but in all honesty, they see life very differently from us.

Some learn the art of subtle manipulation to get their way, and others become anxious victims to coerce the other to concede to their way. Rejection of what/who is different and hiding/withdrawing from all things different often become unconscious go to habits as a result.

While all widely used techniques, most end up in suffering and break-down of relationships, sometimes being emotionally exploding or imploding.

What if we tried this instead. We take a step back and truly observe the perceived reality the other human is experiencing. Examine how this may be very different from the one we ourselves are experiencing. Instead of rejecting their perception while defending our view of it. Find compassion and humor in the differences in perception, for them and for ourselves. Knowing this to be not right or wrong, simply loving and funny. Then, with this compassion and humor, move toward the other human simply accepting that their bubble is different from ours and offer them reassurance and healthy encouragement to do the best with the reality they perceive.

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

The outcome is to become open and accepting of diversity, with compassion and humor and to slowly let go of the need to change everyone and everything to align with our perception of this life.

Try it, and comment here on how it helped and what came up.