Nobody likes to believe that they are quick to judge others. Most of us like to think we are accepting of everyone, no matter the behaviors, choices and story lines.
I absolutely fit the above criteria, I am aware that I judge others, but I believe this to be a negative quality in myself (my own conditioning). A quality I wouldn’t want to share with anyone else. Maybe only close friends, for I fear being judged, or worse, I fear my judgement might be shared with that third person.
As much as I deny it to myself or others, I judge often.
In honesty, anytime our internal pattern doesn’t fit the external circumstance, each of us experience judgement. Judgement in its simplest form is noticing the gap between what is and what our conditioning tells us it should be. It can take complex forms when it is elaborated upon internally, externally or used as a form of physical or emotional discrimination.
Can a judgmental person feel compassion and acceptance? Well, they feel like opposing emotions don’t they? Almost always, we are feeling opposing emotions at any given time. Because we have deemed one as acceptable and the other as unacceptable, we see one and clearly “unsee” the other one. I can judge another persons choice as unacceptable, but I can still fully love them and feel compassion for them, as well feel compassion for their choices.
Its to embrace this duality in ourselves and others that is true acceptance. I can judge and perhaps even share how the other persons choices are making me perceive them, but also fully recognize how much I love them. Sometimes, the love feels painful, how can I love someone who is making these unacceptable choices? That when its important to become fully aware of the judgement (process) we are feeling toward the person and their choices (content), as well as the parallel emotion of love, compassion (process) we feel toward them and their choices (content).
I see choices and other humans as the circus and the monkeys in my life, I can choose to walk around the circus tent (their life choices), and continue to love the monkeys, despite how different they seem from me. I am also aware of this painful truth, the persons I share my feelings of love and judgement with, are experiencing similar opposite emotions and based on their ego conditioning may love me, yet deem me unfit/unworthy of their company.
The internal and external conflict thus continues. One to be observed and covered in compassion with humor for all humankind.