The way we treat others teaches them how we want to be treated. Even if this is not our intention, in treating others a certain way we give permission to be treated in the same way. This happens unconsciously, without us realizing that this pattern/way of being has now become solidified. I found myself being… Continue reading Permission on how to be treated
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Choosing discomfort purposefully
Humans purposefully stay away from discomfort. We do everything possible to be comfortable. So choosing discomfort is the last thing we ever want to do. But what if our desire to remain comfortable has put us in a state of avoidance, where we recognize how the state of comfort is unhealthy or making us choose… Continue reading Choosing discomfort purposefully
Awareness or Distraction?
In examining my controlling nature in relationships, I find I can be expositional instead of collaborate. In doing so, I have discovered two ways of being, I can be aware or I can be distracted. When I am distracted, I am scrolling on my phone, or watching uninspiring TV shows or binge eating without being… Continue reading Awareness or Distraction?
Count your blessings
Counting our blessings is a lovely reminder to live a grateful life. Being grateful for the big and small things in life. Being grateful brings us into a state of abundance and aligned with how things are, no good/bad; right/wrong- just is. It helps us relinquish control and assuming that we have anything to do/be/have… Continue reading Count your blessings
The 4 Brahma Viharas- Equanimity
The 4th Brahma Vihara Equanimity, is best experienced in this ten day wisdom course by Sharon Salzberg. In taking this course I realized how much I didn’t know about equanimity, and how eager I was to learn more. The dictionary describes it as mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation. A… Continue reading The 4 Brahma Viharas- Equanimity
The 4 Brahma Viharas- sympathetic Joy
Sympathetic Joy is the third Brahma Vihara, and it is to feel happy for others without judgement, bitterness or resentment. I remember saying to myself- I am happy for them but sad for me, as I do not have what they have. Not realizing that by doing this, I was ignoring all that life had… Continue reading The 4 Brahma Viharas- sympathetic Joy
The 4 Brahma Viharas-Compassion
Compassion is the second of the 4 Brahma viharas. The Oxford dictionary defines it is “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.” Almost 20 years ago, I did not know what the word compassion meant. I asked a friend in discussion, and she said its like “kindness in action”. I remember not being a particularly compassionate… Continue reading The 4 Brahma Viharas-Compassion
The 4 Brahma Viharas- Loving Kindness
The four divine abodes, also known as the four immeasurable, or brahmaviharas in Sanskrit, are the emotions of the higher mind or higher mental states. They are: loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity. These four give us a framework to cultivate positive behaviors and minimize harmful ones. These qualities are considered divine because they represent love… Continue reading The 4 Brahma Viharas- Loving Kindness
“Not good enough”
Are you listening and believing that inner voice of self-hate? The same one that says you are “not enough, not good enough, not doing enough, must do more”, etc. How do you stop listening to this voice? what are your tools? What do you listen to instead? Once I discover I am in this self-destructive… Continue reading “Not good enough”
Reinforce a loving inner narrative
All of us have several inner narratives. Ones that tell us we are good and happy and doing a great job, and others that tell us we suck and that everything is crap. In my previous posts I have discussed how it helps to be mindful in which we subscribe to. When loved ones hellbent… Continue reading Reinforce a loving inner narrative