The focus on SELF has become the current culture. Maybe it has been the case, but in the present time it seems to be in the center stage in every realm. To focus on self is being taught to kids in school, in playgrounds, at university, in families and in friendships; and wow, am I ever glad for this much needed trend.
I do want to differentiate how we choose to focus on Self.
We focus on self with intention, when we awaken to the present moment, when we bring our mind back to our body and walk the inward facing path, and examine how we are feeling, what triggers us, what is our most go-to reactions/responses. This is where the real work happens and results in real growth.
When we are unconscious, un-awake, we are also focused on self however in a very different way. We become self-absorbed and take everything personally. In this state of mind, we believe every ego story of how everything everyone is doing/saying is intended to hurt/spite/reject/annoy/alienate us. We feel sad, angry, hurt and unloved because we have left our small inner child in the hands of false ego stories which ravish and violate her/him at every chance possible.
The difference here is just this, in the prior awake example, we have brought to our self; love, compassion, humor and joy. We have taken that small inner child away from ego stories and surrounded her/him in the abundance always available here and now. We have learnt to self-soothe, to hold a large space to fill with self -value and worth and to comfort ourselves in exactly the way we need now. We are self-aware, and feel connected, engaged and healthy in how we interact with ourselves and others and do not see ourselves in the reflection of how others behave.
To live a more joyous life, we must actively choose which self to grow- self-care, or self-absorbed. We must notice if we are withdrawing and disengaging from our heavy feelings, or whether we have learnt to self-soothe and lean into those emotions offering them love and compassion instead.
Which Self do you notice now?