What is this thing called happiness? While it feels like everything we do in life is so we may find/be happy, have a happy life; how many of us truly examine what happiness means to us.
Happiness can be described as a good feeling, or a feeling of joy and calmness. But in all honesty this may be my own biased definition. Take a moment, and define what happiness is/feels like for you, prior to reading further.
In my humble examination of happiness and the “things” that make me happy, I have found that there are two important stems for my happiness. When I am happy with an external object, my car, home, food/beverage, pet, job, status, physical looks, clothes, talent, awards, money; these stem from my Ego. None of these are bad or good, they are very important. They are important because because growing up our ego conditioning was to attach our happiness (good feeling) to these objects. Our families and environments taught us this (just like theirs did for them growing up), and we bought it.
As independent functioning adults we can fully question the link between our happiness and these external objects. In fact to be happy is to truly understand if this link is real or if it was imposed upon us by ego conditioning, and honestly doesn’t provide us true happiness.
True happiness– now here is the term that stems from Spirit; from Love. Have you ever felt so happy that your “soul smiles“? If we examine the sources of this happiness they are usually impermanent moments of non tangible things we witness. For me they include, seeing the full moon and stars, watching the waves crash on a beach, feeling the trees breathe in the woods, feeling nourished when in the company of a close friend, family member, and so many more. These are the moments we keep in our memories and want to return to again and again. This happiness is fully enmeshed in the feeling of unconditional love.
So, based on these two stems, everyone finds happiness in their own way. We have allowed ourselves to believe these are the ONLY ways to feel happy (guilty!). What we must open ourselves to is, our version of happiness may not be that of another, and the happiness equation of ego and spirit may have differing ratios for each person dependent on their subscription to ego conditioning and spirit. We are not here to judge, only to focus on our own happiness story, and allow others the space to focus on theirs.
Here are some of my personal tips on how I help myself to this happiness:
- I make a list of all that makes me happy and incorporate these small moments into my daily life.
- I treat myself as the most favored child and fulfill all her joyous wishes, and love her fully and completely.
- I take in Joy ( no matter how small) and allow it to nourish me, I really sit with this feeling of being fully nourished.
- This body is the best gift given to us (Dr. David Hawkins in Healing and Recovery), I use my body to bring me enjoyment, I use it to take me where I want to go.
The great Buddhist monk Thich Naht Hanh aptly said- happiness is here for us, we need to help ourselves. How will you help yourself to happiness today? thoughts? comments?