Very often I meet people who set out to change the world. Some want to make a big impact on large communities of people, others simply want to change their friends and family so their behavior can be more suited to their own (often ego) needs.
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world” Mahatma Gandhi.
While we can ask people to change, or tell them how their behavior is making you feel. This statement suggests we must change so we see a change in the world. How does this work exactly?
Well, it comes down to brain plasticity and mirror neurons. Here is example 1. Have you ever experienced a situation where you are sitting across a friend or co-worker and they touch their chin, or cross their legs, very often we find ourselves mirroring their physical behavior and vice-versa. We have neurons known as mirror neurons that are partly responsible for this, as well as an ego need to “fit in” or to be “accepted“.
Example 2. Have you noticed, especially with kids and pets. They know which parent or owner’s buttons they can push and how. They have learned (brain plasticity) which behaviors will be ok and which not, and they have unconsciously categorize these based on individual behaviors and responses (reactions) of different people in their lives. They have learnt to alter their own behavior accordingly (more brain plasticity). So they have changed their own behavior based on that of another.
This is a very neat concept. This is truly how we change ourselves to see the change in the world. If we set authentic and healthy boundaries of behaviors which we will tolerate and those that will not tolerate, those around us will immediately pick up on these cues (spoken or not). They will alter their behavior to either respect our boundaries or to challenge them. While these same individuals may continue to behave in old ways around others, they will change their behavior around us.
Therefore, change yourself to reflect the change you want to see in your world. Look inward to know yourself. Ask, what supports my highest good, what does not. Set authentic and clear boundaries around friends and loved ones, it never too late, they will be surprised at first, but then adjust and change to respect or challenge those boundaries.
“For we must not ask what life brings to us, rather what we bring to life.” Viktor E. Frankl
Thoughts comments?