As beautifully stated by Pema Chodron in her book When things fall apart, the practice of Tonglen- sending and receiving- is designed to awaken bodhichitta, to put us in touch with genuine noble heart. It is a practice of taking in pain and sending out pleasure and therefore completely turns around our well-established habit of doing just the opposite.
Tonglen is a practice of creating space, adds Pema. Ventilating the atmosphere of our lives so that people can breath freely and relax. Whenever we encounter suffering in any form, the tonglen instruction is to breathe it in with the wish that everyone could be free of pain. Whenever we encounter happiness in any form, the instruction is to breathe it out, send it out, with the wish that everyone could feel joy. Its a practice that allows people to feel less burdened and less cramped, a practice that shows us how to love without conditions.
In my personal experience, while this may sound easy to do, my ego-fear stands in the way and wants to first judge and criticize anyone and everyone who has hurt me before I can sent them unconditional love, I want to send them warts and hailstones first, then love. Who is with me on this? In reality, when practiced regularly, like all things, Tonglen does get easier and becomes a calming balm from our Divine heart to the small and fearful human ego-mind.
Thoughts?