Are you listening and believing that inner voice of self-hate? The same one that says you are “not enough, not good enough, not doing enough, must do more”, etc.
How do you stop listening to this voice? what are your tools? What do you listen to instead?
Once I discover I am in this self-destructive loop, I start to purposefully say “Smriti, I love you, I am so proud of you, you do so much, you are so much for yourself and others”. I also become very aware of all I do have in my life and the gratitude I feel for all that is here in my life. I count how much I am loved, unconditionally loved and then this voice becomes the calm inner voice of self-love.