Big thanks to Cheri Huber, and her book “Be the person you want to find“. Much of this wisdom is hers, paraphrased by myself.
We are all conditioned according to the environment we grew up in. Just as our caregivers were conditioned dependent on the way they grew up. The environment may be steeped deep in personal ego, or in unconditional love, or a smattering of both.
We can observe how we behave in different relationships and understand whether we follow the same internal patterns of conditioning as our caregivers, or whether we have unlearned and found our own way to reach into ego or love to approach every person in every relationship.
Highly indicative of whether we are in an ego struggle or loving compassionate state, is how we feel in a relationship and around others. Do we need others to approve of us for us to feel loved, do we need to change to be worthy of love? or do they? All of these conditions were made growing up. If we were disapproved of and made to feel wrong or bad and unlovable, chances are we will approach love in the same way as adults. If we were given freedom and acceptance with compassion to grow up the way we wanted with support and healthy boundaries, likely we will do the same in those relationships.
Today, examine how you feel in the many relationships you are in. Where do you draw from most often? Ego conditioning or love?